Organization Quest

The Great Debate: Pack Heavy or Pack Light?

Of all the advice in Alexandra Stoddard's book, Things I Want My Daughters to Know, perhaps the most astonishing is her conviction that flies in the face of the convention wisdom "less is more."  According to Stoddard, less is less and more is more.  ""Travel Heavy," she urges in the chapter of the same title.  "Whenever I travel lightly, I regret it."

As someone who hauled so much to college that I burned out the transmission of my parents' car, I'm not in the position to play the role of holier-than-thou minimalist. That said, I can honestly say that I tend to be happier when traveling light.  True, there is the risk of miscalculating the weather or otherwise being un- or under-prepared.  But there is something ultimately freeing about carrying a light load.

When I flew to Paris for the summer and a semester in college, students were advised to take check only one bag weighing no more than 40 pounds.   This was in the day you were allowed to check two  bags for free, weighing 75 pounds each.  The idea was to bring no more than you could comfortably carry.

I was not okay with this.  At 19, I required an arsenal of cosmetics, jewelry, accessories, shoes, clothes, fragrance  and grooming supplies with which to navigate life, and the idea of limiting myself to 40 pounds of luggage seemed an outlandish sacrifice.  Still, I complied, picking and choosing among my favorites a half hour before I left for my flight and hoping for the best. 

Turns out it was fine; I actually enjoyed the simplicity and clarity of being surrounded with my favorite things and nothing more.  I have many, many memories of those months; in none do I recall feeling traumatized that I didn't have a particular coat or pair of shoes on my trip.

Years later, after sustaining a serious injury to my back, my physician reluctantly approved a plane trip I was obliged to take for personal reasons.  His condition:  I carry less than three pounds.

I was okay with this.  For the flight, I dressed in jeans and comfortable shoes, along with a back brace under a twin set and  jacket.  In my purse, tucked individually in ziplock bags I packed a skirt, tights, and dress shoes that went with the twin set, along with an extra set of underwear.  I packed a tooth brush and tooth paste, both travel sized, anti-persperant, lip gloss, and sunglasses.  That's it.  Or not quite;  I also brought ID, a credit card, my insurance card, and cab money.  I figured the hotel would have shampoo and I was right.  I figured if I needed anything else, I could buy it there, and I was right about that, too.  And it was fine.  I made it to my destination, did what I needed to do, dressed appropriately for the occasion, and returned less than 48 hours later, no worse for wear.  The everything-but-the-kitchen-sink philosophy might work for some, but for me, I find I get more out of doing with less.

Packing minimally above, clockwise: skirt, dress shoes, anti-persperant, shades, toothbrush and toothpaste, insurance card, ID, credit card, and money, underwear, tights, and the purse it fit in.

Below left: items in the purse.  Below right: view from the side.

 

Travelling? Your Middle Name Could Be Trouble

"If your passport or driver's license includes a full middle name that you don't normally use, you will have to include that name on your ticket the next time you fly within the United States and by December if you fly overseas," writes Ed Perkins for Tribune Media Services. 

Read Perkins' article on the importance of making airline reservations using your name exactly as it appears on your passport or driver's license to avoid this new security hassle. For more information on this and other upcoming new rules, visit the TSA website at www.tsa.gov.

How To: Research Your Vacation Options and Your Destinations

Earlier this year when we were trying to figure out what we wanted to do for our 20th anniversary, we considered taking a cruise.  We thought it might be perfect: Alpay likes adventure; I like playing house.  By taking a cruise, we could comfortably explore several different cities without all the bothersome packing and unpacking and repacking that is part and parcel of traveling by land.  And as unconventional as it sounds, I desperately wanted to do something that could include Alpay's mother, who I've already established as best mommy-in-law in the world. 

Because I'm not interested in where we go as much as where we stay, I established certain ground rules, including a minimum-sized stateroom of 300 square feet with a private balcony on a cruise line that is known for its formality.  The upshot is that the stateroom size, combined with the balcony and factoring in a room for my mother-in-law would put us approximately 200% over budget for a 7-day cruise.

After further researching our options, we decided to go to Turkey instead, for a trip nearly 3 times as long that will cost less than half as much, including accommodations for Alpay's mom on the last leg of the journey.

Deciding what your vacation options are and researching potential destinations is part of the fun of vacation planning. The following may prove helpful:

Talk To Friends Who Travel

This is my favorite research technique.  It's sort of like a blind date:  your friends know you; you like your friends; your friends like a place. The ensuing recommendation is thus pre-screened and is more or less helpful depending on how much you trust your friend's taste. 

For Locals-Only Insider Knowledge, Look at Small, Local Magazines or the Travel Section of Websites/Newspapers Near Your Destination

Some favorites include:

• Los Angeles magazine I love the actual, hard-copy magazine, but who can resist the free internet site with their "LA to Z Guides" with articles like "75 Best Restaurants" and "The 64 Greatest Things About LA"?
• Chicago magazine is another great regional magazine that has an awesome website.  With sections devoted to "Dining," "Going Out," Shopping," and "Best of Chicago," it's jam-packed with ideas for Chicagoans and tourists alike.
• The Seattle Times' Travel Section is perhaps the best travel section in any local paper--at least any that I've seen.  There are always lots of interesting, local getaways with plenty of details and pictures. 

Take Advantage Of Online Resources

• Tripadvisor I've found this site to be phenomenally helpful.  It has a special "Plan the perfect trip on any budget" feature as well as terrific "Destination Guides."  There's an interactive "Trip Ideas"/"Travel Inspiration" feature whereby you indicate what you like (adventure, beaches and sun, casinos, history and culture, etc.) and where you want to go (divided roughly by continent) and press a button to see the Advisor's suggestions.  I especially like the traveler reviews, which seem more robust on this site than on some of the other sites.  One of the hotels we ended up choosing, for instance, had 36 reviews, which provided  multi-faceted impressions I found to be very helpful in making our decision.
• Yelp.com can also provide incredibly helpful consumer reviews of hotels, restaurants, spas, and resorts located in American cities. 

Many of the most popular travel guides offer extensive resources online, including:

• Frommer's Their website includes "Trip Ideas"  and "Tips & Tools" in addition to the more-familiar "Destinations"  and "Hotels".  The "Trip Ideas" includes the "Smart Deal of the Week" (Current example;  "Hawaii from $499 for 3 Nights and Airfare") and "Cruise Deals for the Week." The also have a terrific "lifestyle" section devoted to such niche travelers as Family, Disabled, Gay & Lesbian, Honeymoon, Single, Senior, Student, and Women.
• Fodor's Fodors has the classic "Destinations," "Hotels," "Restaurants," and "Cruises" categories, along with their own "Travel Deals" and "Travel News" with features like "The 7 Best Family Beaches in the East" and "Beat the Euro in Italy: Stick to the Small Cities".
• Lonely PlantThe Lonely Planet has a fantastic site that includes "Introductions" or an overview of the given destination, "Getting There and Around," "Practical Information," and "History" sections, in addition to suggestions for "Entertainment," "Shopping," "Hotels and Hostels," "Restaurants," and "Sights," for which you can see members' ratings and reviews.  Their feature articles often include videos, and great Q&A sidebars on subjects like "What was the best thing you ate?" and "What would you recommend a first-time visitor do?"
• Alastair Sawday's Special Places to Stay Because accommodations are so important to me, Alastair Sawday's Special Places to Stay is my favorite guide, hands-down. You won't find any mega-hotels or water parks here, but small, lovely, charming cottages, B&Bs, cabins, and boutique hotels, many of which are surprisingly reasonable in price. Every entry includes an interactive map, which is convenient (no toggling to Map Quest or Google Earth).  The website also includes the wonderful "Inspire Me" section, with such themed collections as "Adventure Sports," "Cookery Classes," "Creative Classes," "Fishing," "Garden Lovers," "Mind/Body/Spirit," "Spa," "Weddings," "Wine," and more.  Two of the four places we'll be staying I found through Sawday's, including the amazing Les Maisons de Cappadoce, a property reviewed in House Beautiful and Gourmet magazines that rents for less than half what a night on the cruise ship would have been.

New Requirements for Crossing the Border

"If you're traveling to Canada, be sure to pack the right ID — a passport or one of several other federally approved documents — starting June 1," warns Kristin Jackson in the article, "Border-crossing changes just up the road," published in the Seattle Times.   

Read Jackson's article outlining the new rules, including information on on the new passport card, and new enhanced driver's licences available in Washington, Michigan, Vermont, and New York. Or for more information on the Western Hemisphere Travel Initiative aimed at strengthening US border security, go to www.getyouhome.gov.

Learning from the Experts: What Vacationistas Know

I work in a place where people take the most amazing vacations: not only do they go all over the world--New Zeland and Australia, Scotland and India, Turkey and the American Badlands immediately come to mind--they find incredible deals and ways to pay for them.  One man basically gets his vacations free by leading scuba diving groups; another's week-long fishing vacation in remote waters cost all of a couple hundred bucks, including the gas to get there.  I shamelessly plead for all details:  itineraries and routes, names, numbers, and addresses of outfitters and guides, restaurants and hotels.  Seeing pictures just whets my appetite; what I really want to know is what they did and what they regret, what they loved and what they wish they'd done.

Here's a few commonalities I've noticed over the years among experienced vacationistas:

They Research Their Options

Knowing what is available, where, and for how much allows them to comparison shop and be able to recognize value for the money.

They Know Their Budget and Keep To It

Because they've done their research, they know how much to expect to shill out for any given component of the vacation.  This brings us to perhaps the most important skill the successful vacationista develops:

They Prioritize Their Resources

Knowing what you can afford is not a constraint, but helps ensure you get the biggest value out of the money you spend. 

For me, the most important thing is the accommodations.  I know, there are people who think this is a total waste. "Why spend the money on where you stay, when all you do is sleep there?" is the reasoning they employ; suffice to say I'm not one of them.  The truth is, I'm not particularly interested in testing my skills or endurance, meeting people, or discovering a fragment from a lost civilization.  I could care less about adventure, exploration, sports, excitement, partying, or romance. When I go on a vacation, it's about playing house. 

The "house" can be a tent in a National Forest where we don't see another soul for days, or it can be a four-star hotel, a country cottage, or sweet little bungalow, but I'm not good with make-do in-betweens.  I will gladly put on a pack and hike a couple miles to be away from people, for instance, but I don't do campgrounds--that's just me.  Likewise, I am perfectly fine with skipping vacations for several years running or preparing all or most of the meals when renting a cabin to offset costs, but, gosh darn it, if I'm going to pay the money to rent a cabin, it had better be cute. 

Some people will gladly accept middle seats on an itinerary with 5 connections in order to splurge on a transatlantic trip they wouldn't otherwise be able to afford.  Others prefer more frequent get-aways or days filled with sports or cultural activities that carry their own expenses.  By directing your funds to reflect what's most important to you and your family, you set the foundation for satisfying experience.

They Budget Their Time and Energy as Well as Their Money

On my recent trip to Seattle, the hardest thing was being in the vicinity of several good friends I desperately wanted to see but knowing I didn't have the time to do so.  With three full days jam-packed with family activities--including last-minute shopping, a family brunch, two surprise parties, a district track meet to see one niece compete and a local Irish dancing exhibition to see another niece perform--it was all I could do to make it back to the hotel room without falling asleep in the elevator on the way up.  This, of course, again gives rise to the question of "why spend the money on where you stay when all you do is sleep there?" But waking the next day in a pretty room with a view was still worth it.

 

My two favorite kinds of vacations: city-center like this past weekend, above, and completely isolated, below.

Just in Time For Summer: Travel Week on the Quest!

One of the most loyal supporters of this blog has been my cousin David, who has followed the Quest month after month, from the series on the Craft Closet to Cosmetic Week, through organizing recipes and straightening shoes to suggestions for storing feminine protection products and bubble bath.  Throughout it all, he's only made two requests the entire time:  could I possibly do a series on organizing the car?  Or travel--what about organizing for trips and stuff?  Couldn't  I do a series on something, you know, a guy  could use?

David, this week is for you.

We'll look at researching destinations and making itineraries, go over packing systems and strategies, and broach the is-it-better-to-pack-heavy-or-pack-light debate. We'll also consider the functionality of packing lists, outline instructions for house and pet sitters and review the necessity of making certain just-in-case arrangements and decisions. What else?  How about checklists and what-to-do-when schedules, tips for traveling with pets or leaving them behind, and ideas for organizing the details of your trip online or with the use of a travel binder--in other words, everything you need to get ready and set no matter where you plan to go.

Wherein My Strange and Mysterious Disappearance Is Explained

One of the advantages of having a blog is that sooner or later you get work in phrases you've saved up but never had the opportunity to use. Nevermind that my recent no-show on the Quest was for reasons neither strange nor particularly mysterious.  When you write about cleaning and organizing day in and day out, you have to find ways to inject a little drama on occasion.

Anyway.  I went to Seattle. The idea was to surprise my Dad with a visit, which was actually a decoy for the real surprise, which was a surprise birthday party for his 80th birthday several days later. My sister in-law and my sister did all the planning, with my sister coming up with the guest list, designing and sending invitations, following up with RSVPs, deciding and buying the decorations, ordering and paying for a custom cake, buying and storing all the beverages, cleaning and picking up, buying and manning the balloon-blowing machine, putting up decorations, and washing the dishes afterwards, while my sister-in-law planned the menu, shopped for and bought the highest quality ingredients, cooked for dozens, offered up her home as the decoy-party venue for which she planned, bought, stored, and cooked the food in addition to all the attendant cleaning and straightening that goes with having a dinner party, then cleaned, picked up, and decorated my father's house for the big party alongside my sister, which she and my sister co-hostessed. Meanwhile, my biggest responsibility was to crouch behind the bar, the better to surprise my Dad, and to not annoy anyone by licking my icecream bowl, a temptation that I successfully and valiantly resisted.

While I can't write much about organizing and planning  a party, since, well, I didn't do any of it, the trip generated many fresh ideas for the Quest, which I'll be rolling out this week.

 
My two guys.

Waste Space or Storage Opportunity? You Decide!

Some of you may recall the post on how I was able to store a huge amount of camping and outdoor gear in a 4", floor-to-ceiling gap in the Master walk-in closet between the wall and the end of a PAX shelving.

On an adjacent wall in the same closet, I installed a cabinet last month when I was going through my mid-winter-renovation revelry.  The cabinet itself is 30" high, 18" wide, and 12" deep, which I use for storing cleaning supplies.  The top of the cabinet is recessed by about 2", leaving an 18" wide x 12" deep x 2" high space that surely I could fit something . . . but inspiration has yet to strike.  Since it's sort of out of the way, anything that requires easy-access is out of the question.  It's also semi-humid being next to the bathroom, and so anything heat- or moisture-sensitive should be avoided.  Any suggestions on what I could put here, Questers?

 
Above: the cabinet in question.  Below: a close-up of the potential storage wonderland!

Minimizing Packaging Clutter by Archiving Product Information

With a 17-foot closet and, truthfully, not all that many clothes, it was a mystery as to how, exactly, my closet was always stuffed to capacity.  True, I'm a bit of a paper-keeper. I have boxes and boxes of nearly daily journals dating back to, let's see . . . 1974.   Still, I could never really account for the sheer volume of stuff I had until I dismantled my closet a few years ago and realized that empty boxes accounted for a a huge percentage of the stuff taking up precious room.  They weren't  storage boxes, either, but packaging from products I'd bought: camera box, computer box, the box that my cookware came in. 

In the past, I've found that I have, in fact,  needed some crucial bit of information--a lot number or Universal Product Code (UPC)--that's on product packaging, which is why I developed the habit of keeping such things. Since I don't need the actual box per se, but just some of the information on it, I realized that I could just cut the UPC or any other important information from the box and file it away.  In this manner, I've freed up what must be hundreds of cubic feet of space, and it's a lot easier to find the information in a file than tearing through an (overstuffed) closet, searching for a specific piece of packaging.  Just be careful when cutting those boxes, folks.  We don't want any more xacto knife accidents.

Cat in the Bag

There's only one thing Lickity Split likes more than jumping in a shopping bag, and that's to be carried around in it, a peculiarity that never ceases to amaze Snapdragon.  Lickity sufficiently destroyed this bag so as to make it inoperable as his own magical flying kitty car, but meowed pitiably for a ride nonetheless, annoying the Dragon no end. Check out the Dragon's head tilt! Followed by Lickity's Don't-Mess-With-Me death stare!

 

Storing Nostalgia Items

When we moved into our first rental home, my parents sent me my boxes and boxes of stuff that had been taking up room in their garage.  "That was the best money I ever spent," my Dad told me, repeatedly. 

Throughout my parents various moves, there had been garage sales, an auction, boxes lost by a moving company, and just plain old fashioned parent-induced clean-outs.  This is to say, I had no idea what I would find when my mother called and reported that all of my things had been shipped out.

When I got the stuff, there were exactly three things that I desperately, desperately hoped to find:

1. My journal from the time I lived in Paris;
2. My saddle which took dozens of (painful) hours the winter I was 14 to break in; and
3. Snowflake, a little white dog with gold heart necklace, whom I got in first grade and was my favorite stuffed animal of all time

There were 42 boxes, most of them, admittedly, full of junk: high school newspapers, college textbooks, tights from 1982.  Yes, folks, I did and continue to have a bit of a problem.  Anyway.  The saddle was easy enough to find.  The journal, sadly, never showed up.  Near the end of the initial sweep through the boxes, Snowflake was nowhere to be found, either.  I made myself open up the last of the boxes and there, in the second-to-the-last box, was the familiar white faux-fur and little gold collar.  I almost cried from the sheer joy of finding her.

Years later, she remained in the same box in which she'd been sent, which was usually relegated to an upper shelf in the closet.  This seemed a shame, but I couldn't think of a good place for her, as we have so little space. 

At some point, I bought nesting hatboxes that I couldn't resist, but whose functionality eluded me once i brought them home.  I tried storing table linens in them, but  . . . nah, it was too much of a pain to unstack the boxes open them all.  It didn't work with accessories, either.  The shape wasn't right for papers.  Art supplies might dirty up the delicate paper finish.  And then I realized: it was the perfect place to store the few favorite stuffed animals, games, dolls, and toys I'd kept from my childhood.

The stacked boxes make a great little side table in my study, providing a much-needed flat surface next to my tiny drafting table.  It's also, indeed, the perfect space to store for my childhood treasures, keeping them tucked away but more accessible than they were on a hard-to-reach closet shelf.  On cold, rainy days, or when I'm feeling sad or weighed down with adult responsibilities, It's nice to be able to lift the lid of the top box and see my precious Snowflake nestled against her friends.  Picking her up and stroking her fur brings back happy memories that always makes me smile.

Snowflake

Cute Idea; Didn't Work

 

Someone once told me that the reason she filed for divorce was because she couldn't stand the way her husband did the dishes.  "It got to the point where it was affecting my health," this otherwise perfectly normal woman said.  "I'd literally grit my teeth until my jaw ached."

It does seem like opposites attract when it comes to dish washing ideologies: slackers with grinds, fork-up types with fork-downs, people who put everything in the dishwasher with those with elaborate rules, rituals, and conditions for what gets hand-washed. 

I myself am of the opinion that dishwashers aren't really for dish washing as much as dish sanitizing, meaning that dishes pretty much have to be washed before they go in the machine, a concept Alpay experiences as nonsensical.  And so one of the perpetual misunderstandings over the years has been whether the dishes in the dishwasher are clean or dirty.

When I load the dishwasher,  Alpay can't tell because he thinks the dishes look clean even when they're dirty.  When Alpay loads the dishwasher, i can't tell because I think the dishes look dirty even when they're clean.  And so every time we opened the dishwasher, it was the same question--clean or dirty?--which gets pretty old day in and day out over the course of 20 years. 

We thought we came upon a solution--where else but at the Container Store?  They had these adorable little suction cups with a movable disk containing two simple words:  clean and dirty.  The idea was that you just turn applicable word so it's facing right-side-up and voila!  You banish at least one tedious annoyance from your life.

I loved the dial--so cute, so hip, so streamlined.  I loved the concept--just turn it and whoever is looking at the dish washer has their answer.  The only hard part was remembering to turn the dial, which, in fact, turned out to be more challenging than you'd think.  And so instead of "is the dishwasher clean or dirty?" the question became "is the dish washer really clean (if that is what the dial said) or is it actually dirty?"  Alas, this was not an improvement.

The is-it-dirty-or-is-it-clean conundrum continued until the cheap dishwasher we got with the place died and we get a new one last year.  We deliberately chose a replacement that has a light to indicate the dishes have been cleaned.  The only problem is that if you go into the dishwasher to retrieve something after it's been washed, you have, like,  30 seconds or the light will go out.  To the innocent bystander, it will appear as if the dishwasher is dirty when it's really clean.  So the original question hasn't changed, it's just gotten longer. 

The Ultra Low-Cost, Ultra-Flexible, Multi-Purpose Cleaner: Baking Soda

Earlier in the week, WD-40 had its day in the sun, which got me thinking about my own favorite low-cost, multi-purpose cleaning product, baking soda.  Basically I use baking soda interchangeably for which I might use Comet or Ajax: scrubbing sinks, whether porcelain or stainless steel; getting the mysterious gunk that collects behind facets; scrubbing tubs or laminate counters.  The non-toxic composition of baking soda makes it especially suitable for cleaning the inside of a coffee pot, microwave or refrigerator, while its famous deodorizing ability accounts for the placement of open baking soda boxes in what must be billions of refrigerators worldwide.  I've had less success adding baking soda to litter boxes--the texture seemed to gum up after one use--and I'm skeptical of some uses sited on various online sources, such as using baking soda to clean jewelry or marble.  But one task at which baking soda really excels is removing coffee or tea stains from cups: just take a tablespoon or so, wet with water to make a paste, and wipe the stains clean away in a matter of seconds. 

2,000 Uses For WD-40?

A while back, I was talking to Stacy, the Designated Neatnik at work, and she told me her Dad told her that WD-40--a substance I've always regarded with vague suspicion (what is WD-40, anyway?  The manufacturers won't say) can be used to actually clean things.  "Like what?" I said, trying not to narrow my eyes because it's rude to do so and it's best not to alienate people at work in the event that, you know, you need to borrow their stapler or something down the line.  Still, I was skeptical.  As far as I knew, the sole purpose of WD-40 was to fix creaky door hinges.  "Like, it can clean shower doors," Stacy said.  "Oh come on," I said, but Stacy stuck to her guns.  "There's websites," she said.  "There's websites with hundreds and hundreds of things you can do with WD-40."

Thus filed under the category, Research When I'm Desperate For a Post Topic, I came upon the note I'd made and googled "cleaning with WD-40."  Imagine my astonishment when I saw a WD-40 fan club (!) listing not hundreds but two thousand uses for WD-40, many of them having to do with cleaning.  So what if most of us don't have a use for "cleaning gum from chicken feathers" and "removing peanutbutter from dog hair"? There's something for everyone here.  Among (many) other things, you can use the humble and hard-working spray to:

• Clean metal figurines
• Remove crayon from carpet
• Clean newspaper ink from tables
• Polish scratches on countertops
• Remove rollerblade marks from kitchen floors
• Remove grime from grout
• Remove petroleum stains from clothing
• Clean (I'm sure they mean remove) food stuck in and around refrigerator
• Remove glue from carpet
• Clean clogged inkjet nozzles
• Clean pigeon droppings from cars
• Clean Plexiglas
• Remove paint from windows
• Remove fingerprints from glossy magazines and book covers
• Clean dice
• Remove river sludge from boat hull
• Shine diamonds
• Clean gummed-up soap trays
• Pre-treat laundry to remove roofing tar stains

I owe Stacy--and Stacy's Dad!--an apology. I'm a WD-40 skeptic no more. 

Happy Mother's Day, Everyone!

 

A few years ago, Alpay and I were walking down the street on Mother's Day. A group of college students were giving out flowers bidding "Happy Mother's Day!" to women walking by.  We smiled and were in the process of walking around the well-wishers, when a lovely young woman, flower in hand, stopped me.  "Happy Mother's Day!" she said, presenting me a rose in my favorite color.  "Actually," I stammered, gazing at the flower,  "I'm not . . . a mother."  I thought that accepting the rose would be a little like saying it's your birthday when it's not so you can get free cake in a restaurant. 

"We're all mothers," the woman said encouragingly.  I considered this. 

"You're Mau-Mau Kitty's mother," Alpay prodded.

"See?" the woman said.

And in that way, the afternoon ended with me smiling and enjoying the delicate petals of a most deliciously-scented rose.

I've often thought of that day since, and always smile at the young woman's kindness, encouragement, and pluck.   I do think those who suffer through childbirth, in vitro procedures, or years of being wait-listed at adoption agencies; those who open their homes to foster children in need; and those who deal with temper tantrums,  terrible two's, and sulky teenagers deserve special recognition and thanks, not to mention breakfast in bed, papier-mache beads, or all-you-can-eat buffets on this day. 

I'd also like to address every woman (guys, your time is coming next month) who has ever nurtured another soul; anyone who has provided encouragement, support, love, and guidance to another. All those wonderful teachers and professors, kind nurses, compassionate administrators; all of the bosses and managers and supervisors who, like mine, inspire one to be their best.  I'm thinking of the communicators, the journalists, the artists and writers who interpret and share experiences; scientists and doctors and researchers and engineers and programmers whose work enhances life for us all; activists and counselors, and anyone who has ever taken the time to help or mentor another, as well as the "mothers" of all creatures--mammal and fish, fowl and reptile.  To each of you, I offer the most exquisite flower in your favorite color and a word of thanks. 

 
Pretty surrounded by pink: My wonderful mommy-in-law.  Sorry, folks, I have dibs on the best mother-in-law everrrr!

 
Mother's Day 2001:  My own mommy, whom I love and miss ever so much.

Quick Tip: How to Get Free Shipping

Like taxes or people who talk on their cell phones in public restrooms, there's something about shipping charges that is inherently annoying. I think long and hard before forking over any amount for shipping charges, nevermind that it costs $2.25 each way to go downtown on the El.  So you can imagine my euphoria when I discovered the website, freeshipping.org, whose tagline reads  "free Shipping Coupons to 1501 Stores."  The actual deal offered ranges from extraordinarily good (free shipping + $30 off orders of $100 or more from Coldwater Creek) to non-deals ($8.75 for orders from PromGirl).  You can browse by store name, first initial, or category, and there's a special "My Favorite Coupon" function that allows you to create your own page featuring your favorite stores.  Be sure to check for any expiration dates or required conditions.

Here are some deals being offered as of tonight, May 8:

The Truly Good Deals

• Coldwater Creek (free shipping + $30 off orders of $100 or more (expires May 10)
• Ann Taylor (25% off--expires May 10)
• Brooks Brothers  (30% off (expires May 11)
• Britannica (free shipping + 10% off)
• Speedo (10% off one item + free shipping on orders of $75 or more)

Free Shipping on Any Order

• Saks Fifth Avenue
• Liz Caiborne
• Perfume Emporium

The Decent Deals

Free Shipping on Orders Under $100

• amazon.com (free shipping on orders over $25)
• Avon (free shipping on orders over $40)
• Office Depot (free next business day shipping on orders over $50)
• Chef's Catalog (free shipping on orders over $49)
• Petco (free shipping on orders over $60)
• Rocky Mountain Trail (free shipping on orders over $35)

The So-So Deals

Free Shipping on Orders More than $100

• Old Navy
• Gap
• Banana Republic
• Big Dogs
• Kohls
• Fossil

The Sort of Worthless Deals

Free Shipping on Gift Cards

• White and Black
• Bed Bath & Beyond

Other Non-Deals

• Toys R Us (free shipping on select items)
• PromGirl ($8.75 shipping on all orders)
• TeesForAll ($5.00 shipping on all orders)
• West Elm (free shipping on window panels)
• Copier Supply Store (free shipping on orders over $250)
• Staples (free shipping when you have your order sent to a local store)

This One Is For Lorenzo

Tonight a dear friend contacted me, to let me know that her beloved dog is in hospice care and not expected to live much longer.

Having gone through the heartbreaking process of caring for our Mau-Mau, which included twice-daily subcutaneous fluids in the last year of his 19-year old life, I feel deeply for my friend and for her husband, also a friend. 

Sometimes, I'm amazed at how much emotion the heart can hold; how much love, how much tenderness and joy, and also how much sadness.  Nothing is harder than to see a loved one ailing--whether the beloved is human or fish or fowl, reptile or mammal.  Going through the grief process last year, I indeed understood anew the meaning of the term "broken hearted."   "Amazing how much a heart can hurt and not stop beating," is what I wrote Lori tonight.

At some point, I'll address here in the Quest the topic of researching options and making decisions in preparation for the inevitable--and yes, heartbreaking--transition our  "fur babies" make from being a daily source of love and joy in this world, to a cherished memory, and, I fervently hope, a companion in the next. But tonight I'm taking a break from making plans and lists, toting up to-do's and finishing chores.  Instead I'll say a prayer for my friends and their beloved Lorenzo.  I think, too, I'll nuzzle my two boys who never knew Mau-Mau, but whose soft fur and tender kitten breath and silly antics enabled me to move through my grief so I might dare to love so openly, so shamelessly, and so hopefully, once again.

Contaminated Makeup: What's the Worst that Can Happen?

I know that last week was supposed to be cosmetic week on the Quest, but my little Xacto knife mishap put me back a few days.  I did think it was important to include today's topic to provide some motivation to throw out any cosmetics that might be worse than gross, but truly dangerous to your health.

Cosmetics can get seriously contaminated in any number of ways:

• Adding water to products to bring back the original consistency. The Medical College of Wisconsin's web site notes that this "could introduce bacteria that can easily grow out of control."
• Using old applicators with new products.  The University of Illinois at Chicago Department of Ophthalmology and Visual Sciences specifically warns against this practice, explaining that "the applicator will transfer bacteria to the new cosmetic."
• Keeping and using makeup after an eye infection. According to the American Optometric Association, "Bacterial Conjunctivitis is an infection most often caused by staphylococcal or streptococcal bacteria [and] can also occur by . . .use of contaminated eye makeup and facial lotions."  In other words, if you do come down with an eye infection, throw out your eye makeup.  All of it.  Really.  This isn't something you want to mess around with.
•  Sharing cosmetics.  This is probably the biggest no-no listed among the many sites I researched.  One of the biggest risks of sharing lip gloss, for instance, appears to be "invasive meningoccal disease" (meningitis) according to the Massachusetts Department of Public Health, as well as rheumatic fever.  Likewise, the Australian Herpes Management Forum notes that there is a "moderate" chance of getting herpes from lipstick or lip gloss with someone who has a cold sore. Consumer Reports also notes that "if you come in contact with another person's germs" by sharing mascara, "you could wind up with conjunctivitis or some other infection."
• Improper storage.  The Consumer Reports article specifically warns against storing mascara above 85 degrees Fahrenheit and to not "leave it in your car for long periods. Temperatures can soar in a vehicle, making it easier for bacteria to grow." The Medical College of Wisconsin also mentions that, "Light and heat can degrade preservatives."
• Improper technique.  Because every exposure cosmetics have to air has the introduces pathogens, cbn.com warns to "Never pump your mascara; air just pushes back into the tube."
• Sometimes it's the manufacturer's fault.  According to the FDA,  "most cases of contamination are due to manufacturers using poorly designed, ineffective preservative systems and not testing the stability of the preservatives during the product's customary shelf life and under normal use conditions."

Although as the FDA notes, "Cosmetics are not expected to be totally free of microorganisms when first used or to remain free during consumer use," the problem with keeping cosmetics past their prime (see yesterday's post on Expiration Dates for Makeup) is that continued use over time invites contamination.  "Every time you open a bottle of foundation or case of eye shadow, microorganisms in the air have an opportunity to rush in," is how the FDA puts it.  "Preservatives degrade over time and may no longer be able to fight bacteria," is what the Medical College of Wisconsin has to say on the subject.  What this all points to is the old adage: when in doubt, throw it out.

Are There Expiration Dates for Makeup?

Are there expiration dates for makeup?  Yes and no. According to the FDA, "There are no regulations or requirements under current United States law that require cosmetic manufacturers to print expiration dates on the labels of cosmetic products." Nonetheless, makeup isn't like snack cakes, folks.  It really does have a shelf life.

How long does makeup last, exactly?  According to this excellent article on the CBS News website, the general guidelines for cosmetic viability are as follows:

• Liquid Foundation, 3-6 months
• Cream foundation 4-6 months
• Concealer, 6-8 months
• Powders (eye shadows, blush), 1 year
• Mascara, 3 months
• Lip gloss & Lipstick, 1 year
• Eye/Lip Pencils, 1 year (sharpen pencils at least once a week to prevent bacteria from being transferred to your eye area. You'll know the product has gone bad if it dries or crumbles).

I'm not going to lie to you, Questers:  I assure you I have powders that are older than a year.  Like lip gloss and lipstick, I keep powders until they develop a funny texture or smell weird.  But that's me.  Generally I do adhere to the rest of the suggested expiration dates, although it does seem I  keep my mascara for closer to six months.  Nothing has happened to me yet, but as you know from last week's mishap with the craft knife, I live on the edge. 

The Great Makeup Cleanup: Round 2 (and Practically Painless Progress)

Sometimes when I have a big project, I find it helpful to think of it in terms of a boxing match.  You know: Round 1, Round 2, etc.  I'm not sure how many rounds boxing matches have, but whatever.  The point is to break up the project into smaller parts, the better to celebrate small victories, which in turn provide motivation for more action.

Earlier in the week, it took over two hours to clear off the top of my old-fashioned vanity, so mid-week I was looking for an easy victory to cheer me up and give me a little boost without sapping too much energy.  Using the Ground Zero Approach, I decided that now that the vanity top was cleared, what  bothered me the most was the tiny masterbath counter.  Apparently I'd decided to take the everything-but-the-kitchen-sink approach and apply it to the sink in the bathroom.

To minimize the effort of clearing the counter, I decided to use my Pass-By Approachby which I pick up one item every time I pass by a particular location (i.e. the masterbath counter) and then put that one item away. In this manner, the area was completely and painlessly cleared without dedicating more than a minute or two at a time each time I passed the counter.  As you can see from the picture below, the "before" shot wasn't pretty:

 

After putting everything away, it took me all of 16 minutes to wipe the counter, scrub the sink, and polish the mirror.  I don't have an "after" picture yet because I forgot to take one at the time and I can't take one right now, Alpay being an early-to-bed-early-to-rise type and I can only imagine his reaction if I broke out the camera, turned on the lights, and obsessively lined up the tubes and bottles remaining on the counter, turning them this way and that in the attempt to discover the most photogenic angle for facial scrub. Marriage is nothing if not compromise.  Judging by the "before" picture here and elsewhere on the Quest, my guess is that Alpay would whole-heartedly agree.